To most “squares,” the idea of a swingers party elicits visions of a cramped room full of writhing, sweat-soaked bodies; people uninhibited by “traditional” sexual protocols.
But, in reality, a sex party is a finely orchestrated get-together that not only requires a good bit of planning, but quite a few rules too. When you’re dealing with a large group of people having sex with one another, there need to be swingers rules in place. These rules at swingers parties make everyone feel safe in the incredibly delicate emotional and physical situation they’re in, and also set the tone for the party.
It might sound surprising, but without rules, swingers parties just aren’t as magical as they’re supposed to be.
No Means NO
You’d think this would be pretty obvious, but it’s important to reiterate: if someone says no, that’s exactly what they mean. It’s also important to note if someone says “maybe later,” or something similar, that should also be taken as “no.” When in doubt, don’t do anything unless the person explicitly says “yes.” The Get Out, Stay Out collection10 Eerie Ghost Towns and the Disasters That Made Them
Bring Your Own Condoms
Don’t expect the host or club to provide condoms for you to burn through while you’re getting your freak on. It’s presumptuous to think your host should cater to your every whim. Also, condoms come in all shapes and sizes. To ensure getting one that fits like a glove, you should probably just bring your own. Pro tip: bring more condoms than you need – you’d be surprised how fast you run out of those things.
Adhere to Your Club’s Naked Rule
If you’re going to a swinger’s club or party, don’t try to act all cool by dressing up. If there are rooms that say “no clothes allowed,” then take off your clothes before entering the room. Not only is it creepy to be the guy wearing a bunch of clothes at the sex party, but what’s the point?
The Host Always Gets a Gift
If you’re lucky enough to be invited to a private sex party, it’s probably good form to bring something nice for the host. It doesn’t have to be a new car or anything, just something that lets them know you care, and that you’d like to keep being invited to their sex parties. Because, obviously, you do.
Voyeurs Have to Stay Quiet
Some people want to be part of the fun, but not actually partake in it. Voyeurs are those people, and while they’re allowed to watch, they’re not allowed to speak. The Red Rooster in Las Vegas seems to be pretty adamant about this rule, going so far as to say that once a voyeur finishes whatever they’re doing (you know what they’re doing) they have to leave.
Stick to What You’re Comfortable With
If you’re not sure whether you’ll be stepping out of your comfort zone while swinging, just do the stuff you like doing, and keep the sexual experimentation to the privacy of your own home. Sex parties are for having fun, not being freaked out. Also, don’t be afraid to turn down someone who want’s you to do something you’re not comfortable with, just remember to be friendly.
Clean Up Your Own Messes – All of Them
If you’re running around naked in a sex club, the last thing you want to do is sit down in a mysterious wet spot. If you make a mess with a drink – or something else – isn’t the point, clean up after yourself and leave the place better off than when you found it. Being a good guest at any party means cleaning up after yourself.
Touch Base with Your Partner Throughout the Evening
At the Couple’s Playhouse in Paradise, one of the biggest rules is you need to stay in touch with your partner throughout the evening so you both know that you’re having a fun and safe time. It’s safe to assume if you’re in the type of relationship where you both feel comfortable going to a swinger’s club, you’re probably already pretty in tune to your partner’s needs and desires. But it’s always nice to check in with your guy or girl and check that everything is okay.
At Some Parties, The Couple Cannot Separate at Any Point
This differs from other clubs where couples are allowed to go their separate ways. Lots of clubs have different rules, and some require couples should be in the same room so they can keep an eye on one another. Before heading out to a sex club with your lover, check and see whether this is a requirement.
Don’t Monopolize the Party Rooms
If you go to a club and there are specific party rooms, you should use the rooms for their intended use. If you’re using the limited amount of party space to have a deep conversation, then you’re ruining everyone’s night. Some clubs have sleep rooms where you can take a disco nap in between sessions. But if you’re trying to find something to do other than have sex at a swinger’s party, you might be at the wrong type of party.
Remember to Be Hygenic
This is one of those rules that works just as well in real life as it does at a sex party: stay clean. Remember to double brush your teeth, feet, hands, and all the private stuff you’re going to be working with. It might even make sense to take periodic breaks to wash up mid-party.